Posted by tbeckford1 | Posted in Uncategorized | Posted on September 28, 2021
In the summer holidays I didn`t to teach my hamster how to pole vault on the tinest pole in the clubs.she then fell of and broke her back in the middle of the pole vault.
In the 6 weeks holidays I didnt teach my rabbit how to swim like a goldfish.Also I didnt teach my rabbit how to use a chrome book.
+ I really like how you described the pole instead of writing a pole. You wrote a thin pole.
? Do you think the hamster would have made it to the Olympics ?
-> A way you can improve is by saying how well you think the would have done.
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+ Very interesting story, it paints a picture in my mind. I wish you did this.
? What made you choose the hamster and rabbit and not a dog or cat?
-> Read through and check for spelling and capital letter corrections.
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+ I like how you just forget about your hamster for a few seconds and then it breaks its back!
? Who’s rabbit is it and where did it come from?
— > Check for spelling mistakes there is quite a few and there is also a lot of random full stops.